Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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