well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Sober January is a disaster.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
