Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
