can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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