haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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