party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
