At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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