I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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