I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
