so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
