Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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