We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
