Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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