She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
