when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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