I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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