But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
