Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
