You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
