I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
