I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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