it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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