so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
