i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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