I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
