Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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