scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
