Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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