She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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