Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
