I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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