does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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