A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
