ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
