In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
