I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
