I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
