I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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