so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
