Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
