She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
