I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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