Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
