i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
