my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
