Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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