bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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