We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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