In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
