i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
