...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
