Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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