this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
